Moments of Musing

Our First Immediate Family Vacation — and Why I Want to Make it a Tradition

Filed Under: family vacation, motherhood, travel with kids //

Our vacation in Puerto Rico was our first vacation as a family of four. It was also the first time we went away to spend time as a family — as in our immediate family consisting of myself, my husband and my kids. Aside from the occasional weekend road trip to the Poconos or Jersey Shore, we have not gone on an extended trip alone with the kids.  

family vacation, family of four, tropical vacation, immediate family, immediate family vacation, puerto rico, puerto rico travel, beach vacation, vacation with kids, vacation with baby, vacation with toddler,

Though we live together as an immediate family unit, my and my husband’s lives are hectic and busy. Our work schedules are sometimes opposite and there could be times we go 24-48 hours without seeing one another. It doesn’t compare to our long distance days but it does stink sometimes. 

That’s why I really wanted to just get away together and I’m so glad we did. It gave us an opportunity to bond and make memories together with our kids without the hustle and bustle of our work schedules and without being limited to weekend time. 

I really hope to make it a tradition of ours. There are a couple of reasons I feel this way:
  • Growing up, I wish my parents, brother and I went away alone more. My dad had a crazy work schedule, and my brother and I spent all day at school. So family dinners were not necessarily a thing — oftentimes, my dad’s schedule was opposite my and my brother’s schedules. I think family of 4 vacations would have been a nice way to catch up extensively and without day-to-day interruptions. 
  • The recent loss of my cousin Abby really reminded me of how precious time together is. There are some days my boys spend most of their time with my mom (because my husband and I both work). I think getting away with just them and my husband can help us to reconnect and make memories they can hold on to and look back on. 

That being said, I really do enjoy going on extended family vacations, as well. We all get to bond and make memories together and I think that time together is important and enjoyable, too. I just want to be sure my husband, kids and I get quality time together, too. 

family vacation, family of four, tropical vacation, immediate family, immediate family vacation, puerto rico, puerto rico travel, beach vacation, vacation with kids, vacation with baby, vacation with toddler,

How I Worked Remotely —and was Still Present on Family Vacation

Filed Under: family vacation, travel with kids, unplug, vacation //

Last time we visited Puerto Rico (two years ago), I made it a point to unplug for the most part. You can read about why I wanted to unplug and how I unplugged here. This vacation, I simply could not. I worked remotely and so, I had work that had to be done. I did try my best to not let my work interfere with family time, though. 



Here’s how I was able to work remotely and still be present on our vacation:


1. I got as much work done in advance as I could.

Since I knew I would be working remotely, I planned accordingly. I did as much work as I could in advance. When I did have to do work, I did most of it after my husband and kids were asleep. It meant a couple late nights for me but that was worth it to me. Regarding smaller tasks, I took a few minutes each day to do them (since I planned most ahead it didn’t take much time during the day). 


2. I limited my work to my full-time job.

I prefer unplugging on family vacations. Therefore, I wanted to limit my phone time as much as possible. In order to do this, I took a break from and paused my blog / Instagram sponsored work. That being said, I did photograph some (non-sponsored) content but it was casually done during our days, not photo shoots or anything, and photos I’d normally take if I wasn’t a content creator. 


3. I limited my photo-taking. 

Of course, I took many photos of the boys. But as I previously alluded to, I actually took less than I thought I would. You’d probably be surprised. I shot most of my content for Instagram and my blog the first day (which is why I’ll be in the same rainbow swimsuit in most photos). After the first day, I did not take many photos of myself. I focused on the kids and on family photos but even then, I tried putting my phone away after I completed my work tasks. Do I wish I took more photos? Slightly. Do I regret not taking more? No because it means I was more present rather than behind the lens during the memory-making moments. 


Car Seat Laws + Guidelines

Filed Under: car seat laws, Parenting //

This is a sponsored post by Aceable, a mobile-first education platform for certification and training courses.
Car seat laws differ by state, and if you transport children in your vehicle, you should know the laws in your state and follow them. Traffic fatalities are a significant cause of death in children, and many injuries are preventable with the proper use of child safety seats or seat belts. 
While car seat laws vary by state, all laws include basic car seat guidelines by child height and weight. Car seat laws in California and New York are typical of what is covered by these laws, but you should check the specific laws in your state before riding with children in your vehicle. 
Car Seat Laws in California
California Vehicle Code Section 27360 requires children under 2 years old to travel in a rear-facing car seat if they are under 40 pounds (18.1 kilograms) in weight or measure over 40 inches (102 cm) in height. California law also states car seats must be secured as directed by the seat manufacturer and users must follow the manufacturer’s recommendations for size and weight limits. 
Once children exceed the size and weight limits for a rear-facing seat, they must ride in a forward-facing child safety seat until they reach the upper weight and size limits specified for that seat. Children under age eight must either travel in a toddler car seat or a booster seat and must ride in the back seat of the vehicle. 
After age 8, it is strongly recommended children continue using a booster seat until they reach 4 feet 9 inches (144.8 cm) in height, but at a minimum, they must be secured with an adult seatbelt. 

Car Seat Laws in New York

New York State (NYS) law regarding car seats is similar to California law. NYS Vehicle and Traffic Law Section 1229-c(1) states:
  • Children under four years old must be in a federally approved car seat when traveling in a vehicle. 
  • If the child is under four years old but weighs more than 40 pounds (18.1 kilograms), the child may use a booster seat. 
  • All children under the age of eight years must be restrained in a car seat or seated on a booster seat appropriate for their size and weight according to the recommendations of the manufacture of the car seat. 
  • Children must be at least 4 feet, 9 inches tall to use an adult seatbelt alone. 
In both states, the same laws apply when children are traveling in RVs and campers. However, most public buses are exempt. 

Penalties for Violating Car Seat Laws

The driver of a vehicle can be pulled over and cited for not having children properly restrained in a car seat, booster seat, or seat belt as required by law. 
Fines vary by location and range up to $100. Not using a safety seat can also result in a driver receiving penalty points on their DMV driving record, which could also affect insurance costs. 
The most important reason for using the proper child safety restraint system in a vehicle is the safety and well-being of your child.

How to Talk to Your Child about Mental Illness

Filed Under: mental health, Parenting //

Even as an adult, conversations about mental illness are tough. For kids, mental illness can be completely bewildering, especially if they’re watching someone they love walk through it or experiencing it themselves.


As a parent, your instinct may be to protect your child from the reality of what’s happening, to simply brush it off. But don’t. Having age-appropriate but honest conversations about mental illness will help your child feel more, not less, secure about the situation, it reduces stigma, and develops your child’s empathy.


Here are five Dos and Dont’s for starting healthy, productive conversations that give kids the information they need without overwhelming them:


  1. Do Use Children’s Books to Start the Conversation


Kids are already used to learning about everything from doctor visits to making new friends through their bedtime stories, so books about mental health will feel like a natural way to bring up the issue.


Some great options for teaching kids about depression are Michael Rosen’s Sad Book and Lloyd Jones’s The Princess and the Fog. Up and Down the Worry Hill is one of my favorites for kids who experience anxiety.


Seeing characters experience can help normalize their own situation, giving them a chance to open up, ask questions, and express feeling they may have been never brought up otherwise.


  1. Don’t Dismiss the Issue


Resist the temptation to oversimplify mental health issues. When we say things like “Oh, she’s just a little sad” or “He’s just throwing a tantrum” we may think that we’re protecting our kids, but in reality, we’re teaching them some dangerous ideas.


When they’re old enough to know what was really happening, they’ll have the perception that it’s not okay to talk about mental health or that mental health issues aren’t true illnesses. And if they ever experience these issues themselves, they could have a harder time opening up to get the help they need.


At the same time, only you can judge what’s age-appropriate for your child. If a family member is struggling with suicidal thoughts, for example, young children may not be ready to hear about that concept. You can still do your best to explain the existence of a particular mental illness without giving your child all the details.


  1. Do Take Advantage of Your Child’s Questions


“Is she going to be okay?” “How do we help?” “Why can’t he just stop getting angry?” Sometimes, there are no easy answers to the questions our children ask. Kids often ask questions when they’re frightened or upset by someone’s behavior.


Tough as they may be, kids’ questions are one of the best ways to start talking about mental health. They signal that your child is already sensitive to others’ wellbeing, which is something you want to encourage, not shut down.


  1. Don’t Use Metaphor without Being Careful


One of the easiest ways to help kids grasp the concept of mental illness is using comparisons to physical ailments like colds or injuries. In some ways, these comparisons are great. They help kids understand that what they or someone else is experiencing isn’t their fault. They also remove the stigma around seeking help from doctors and pharmaceuticals.


However, these metaphors can cause your child to fear “catching” something like depression or bipolar disorder. Be careful to explain that mental health issues are not contagious and that we don’t need to avoid people who have them.


  1. Do Ask Follow-up Questions


Oftentimes, our kids don’t know how to articulate their feelings unless we help them. If you sense that your child is still confused, upset, or frightened by a recent experience, it’s important to make sure that they’re processing their feelings healthily.


Targeted questions validate your child’s feelings. “Are you okay?” isn’t the same as “Are you still angry about what happened?” or “Did that scare you?”

For example, if a family member with bipolar disorder suddenly lashes out or loses interest in playing with your child, your little one may feel deeply betrayed and confused without knowing how to say so. As much as we want to teach our children to be empathetic, we also want to teach them that it’s okay to be hurt or upset by someone’s symptoms. When kids don’t get the chance to feel what they feel, they’re more likely to start harboring resentment, frustration, or fear towards those with mental health issues.


Remember that your child will likely approach mental health in the same way you do. If you’re afraid to discuss depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, they probably will be too.


By modeling open and honest conversations about mental health, we prepare our kids to be compassionate, understanding, and ready to seek help should they ever need it.


This is a guest post by Dr. Dawn Brown Psych MD, a top Houston ADHD doctor and founder of ADHD Wellness Center. Follow her on Instagram @drdawnpsychmd.  

Mama Needs a Coffee

Filed Under: motherhood //

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #WakeUpwithBliss #CollectiveBias

Pre-motherhood my mornings were usually much calmer (unless I snoozed my alarm too much). I woke up, made myself breakfast, packed my lunch, got ready for the day and grabbed a cup of coffee from my building’s coffee maker.

These days, my usual mornings are anything but calm. As a full-time working mom to a two-year-old and ten-month-old, my days are pretty hectic and my mornings start off pretty hastily, too. I often do not get the best quality sleep (surprise, surprise!). I wake up to nurse in the middle of the night anywhere from one to four times. I co-sleep so I share my bed and the little one takes over.

Each morning, I wake up, rush into the shower, and grab a quick breakfast if I’m lucky enough to remember. As for lunch, I usually buy it though I do make an effort to take leftovers if we have any. 
Something that has remained a staple of my morning routine is: drinking coffee. It’s one of the first things I do when I wake up. These days, however, I have to warm it up a few times… but that’s neither here nor there. 

A little tidbit you might not know is that I also enjoy a cup of coffee at night. It’s popular in the Hispanic and Latino cultures. Ironically, though it energizes me in the mornings, it is also a part of my calming nighttime routine. 

Recently, I’ve also been trying to choose healthier options for my coffee. That’s why I enjoy the new Coffee mate® natural bliss® Plant Based Half & Half Vanilla and Half & Half Unsweetened. My husband is a fan, too! It is all natural, plant-based, and non-dairy, made with real almond milk and coconut cream.

The new Coffee mate® natural bliss® Plant Based Half & Half is the premier plant-based half & half product, offering creamy texture and less sugar (Vanilla has only 2g of sugar per serving and Unsweetened has 0g of sugar) without compromising on taste. It is available in the creamer section at your local Walmart. Earn $1 off any 1 Coffee mate® natural bliss® Plant Based Half & Half (16oz). 

Cheers!