Moments of Musing

5-Year Plan?

Filed Under: life //

I know we’re nearly two weeks in but I still can’t believe it’s May! I feel like I say this every month but time sure flies.

For some reason, the beginning of every month always has me thinking about life. Maybe it’s because it always feels like time is flying and I’m constantly wondering “How is it [insert month] already?!” But alas, here we are and this month is no different, in that sense. Let’s get to my dramatic life talk of the month, shall we?

When I sit in on interviews with job applicants, the question “Where do you see yourself in five years?” frequently comes up. I’ve recently been thinking about this A. LOT. It might have something to do with our recent vacation and just how amazing it was. It also might have a little to do with my parents’ talk of retirement plans.

Lately, I’ve been wondering what life with my husband and child(ren) will look like in five years. What we’ll be doing, where we’ll be living, what our family will look like, and so on. I think about where I want to be in life and geographically. What I hope to be doing. How many children I hope we’ll have. I start to make a plan in my head and then I stop. Don’t get me wrong–thinking about the future is exciting. But it’s equally scary.
So much is in our control. And yet, so much is not. Life is fluid. It changes every second. Do I want to live a life tied to strict goals or guidelines I set for five years into the future. Or do I want to live my life day-by-day and be present? Which is less stressful? But which is more responsible? Is making a plan even realistic? If I don’t make a plan, will my goals come to fruition?
These are the struggles I have with making a five-year plan. 
Originally, I wanted to come up with a plan (1. Become a millionaire, etc.) and live my life accordingly, so that the goals would be achieved. Ultimately, though, I’ve decided to make a sort of-kind of plan. A general idea of what I want to do, where I want to be, what I want and hope for. But it is all made with the real understanding that things can change and so, it can all be altered. I might not want those same things a year from now…
What I will always, always want are:
Happiness, joy

Health/ a healthy lifestyle (that’s more in my control)

Love and laughter 

So, whatever brings me the most of those — that’s the plan I’m sticking to most.

Life Recently: Lots of Trips

Filed Under: life, Puerto Rico, vacation //

It’s been a while since I’ve written about what’s been going on in my/our life/lives. Well, March was a doozy. So much went on.
Trips to the ER, pediatrician, Michigan, urgent care… and Puerto Rico! 
Thank goodness we’d planned our vacation because it was so needed after the hectic month we’d been having.
All is, thankfully, well in the health department. Seb was just sick for the first time and it both broke my heart and almost gave me a billion heart attacks. Then, my husband and I got sick (it could have been Seb wiping his nose on me all the time and/or coughing into my mouth as I was holding him..) and I managed to get THE most painful ear infection that I can ever remember having. I was then extremely nervous to fly but decided to do so after being cleared by our doctor.
Of course, getting sick two days before we were about to leave was less than convenient and not ideal… Needless to say, this was the most last-minute packing we have ever done.
Life is still great, though. Because we’re healthy (the ear pain lasted under six hours thanks to trusty antibiotics and a heating pad) and amid the craziness, we got to visit my husband’s family in Michigan and make it to our vacation in Puerto Rico.
Before I share some photos from our vacation, I want to give you a tip: try to visit in the spring or summer! Last time we visited Puerto Rico, we went in November and we were unimpressed with the ocean. This time, it felt like we were on another island. The water was an amazing shade of crystal-clear blue.
And now, for the good stuff: the photos, most of which were taken on our trusty Nikon (another tip: invest in a good camera–the better quality of photos is worth it).
*Though I took photos, I did not take as many as I normally do because I unplugged.

How I Unplugged

Filed Under: life, Unplugged Puerto Rico, Unplugging //

As some of you might remember, I decided that I would (mostly) unplug while on my recent vacation. I say mostly because the reality is I still used my phone, posted, wrote, and visited social media. The bad news is I probably need to be somewhere without service and WiFi to completely unplug. The good news is I think did a pretty good job at staying off my phone as much as possible.

This is how I was able to do it:
I promised myself.
The plan to unplug came to me a few days before we left. I really wanted to stick with it and I knew if I wrote a blog post about it, I’d hold myself accountable. So that’s what I did. (This is the blog post I wrote.) Once it was out there, I knew there was no taking it back.

I detached from my phone.
I simply left my phone in the hotel room sometimes. Other times, I kept it in the stroller pocket or in a bag away from me. Honestly, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be to detach from the phone. I guess really enjoying life made it easy. I didn’t have a desire to figure out how to edit a photo or write a caption when there was so much beauty and love around me.

I optimized my baby’s nap time.
On the second day, I made the decision to try my best to wait until my baby fell asleep to get on my phone and that’s what I did. While he slept, or was preoccupied playing with others, I took photos, edited them, checked social media and emails, and wrote.
I was intentional about social media use.
Whenever I was on social media, I didn’t really just aimlessly browse. I visited blogs and pages I am interested in, commented on photos I particularly liked, and posted things I had prepared and planned for previously.

I reminded myself to be present.
What good would it be flying hundreds of miles away with my family to spend our time on my phone constantly? Whenever I felt the urge to go on social media, I reminded myself that being present was important. Not only for myself but for my family, especially my son. I didn’t want him to have memories of me looking down at a device while we vacation. I wanted him to have memories with me. In the pool. At the beach. Loving and laughing. Looking up at the stars and group-hugging his dad. I wanted to have memories together and that requires living in the moment, together.
I really am so glad I did this. I wholeheartedly recommend you doing it next time you’re away, as well!

    Unplugging

    Filed Under: life, Unplugged Puerto Rico, Unplugging //

    This past weekend we went to Michigan to visit my husband’s family. It was such a nice visit and honestly, I’m always sad when we part ways. They love me like I’m one of them and seeing how much they love my husband and our son makes me really appreciate them more. Family is so important to us so it’s hard to live away from them. Fortunately, we live near my family so we get family time in between visits with my husband’s side. 

    Being present during family time is important, too. I tried my best not to be on my phone as much (though I couldn’t hold back as much on the last day during the NASCAR race we were watching lol) and there were many times I didn’t even know where it was because I hadn’t really been using it.

    It seems like these days, more and more people are becoming overly attached to their phones, social media and what’s going on in other people’s lives. Who’s wearing what, who’s following you, what happened last night, etc.  

    I’m sometimes one of them. I find myself spending too much time browsing social media, editing a photo or thinking of a witty caption … or falling down the rabbit hole looking at the profile of a friend of a friend of a friend. Then, I look up and see Sebastian staring at me, probably wondering what’s so good about it all because it takes my attention away from him. And I immediately feel guilty. 


    This is why partway through Lent, I promised to be on my phone less, especially around Sebastian, and present more. This means lately, when I get on my phone I have a lot of texts (see: 102 from my girlfriends… we like to chat just a little…) and maybe some calls. But it also means I’m living in the moment more, which to me means experiencing life more fully. The more present I am, the more enjoyable moments are, and the less desire I to be on my phone and miss out.

    As our island vacation approaches, I’m continuing with this process of unplugging (for the most part). I am going to try to unplug fully by not posting while we’re out and about, and maybe even for the whole vacation. It seems a bit ambitious and a little voice is telling me, “Baby steps, take baby steps” but I’m going to attempt it and I’m not going to worry about how many people unfollow me because I don’t post, or what I’m missing out on in the social media world. 

    Because that’s what it is–a whole other not-as-genuine world. Life through little squares is so carefully curated–the good stuff is the messy, raw, behind-the-scenes experiences that make up real life. I want to cherish and relish in those. I want to be fully present for those. 

    Crying at life’s good moments, too

    Filed Under: life //

    If you know me, you know I’m a crier. (For those who didn’t know, now you know.)  I’m not really a hugger. If I’m feeling emotion, I cry. That doesn’t necessarily mean I only cry during bad times. I cry happy tears too — and lately, those have been most of the tears I cry. 

    When I found out I was pregnant

    Sebastian’s first steps
    Jack’s romantic monologue at the end of the This is Us season finale
    I’m not sure the good cries have ever been this frequent, though. I remember “good crying” when I got into Penn State and then law school. And when I got my first big girl lawyer job and then when I passed the Illinois bar exam. When I got engaged to my husband. At our rehearsal and then at our wedding. Those are all pretty recent, though, and there was quite some time between each.
    It seems my good cries have certainly increased. These days, just seeing my son smile can make me cry. It could simply be that my life is full of more good these days. It could be that as I’ve matured, I’ve grown to appreciate life, and really just everything, a whole lot more. It seems like I feel a whole lot more, too. And a whole lot of what I’m feeling is happiness. Pure, unfiltered, incomparable happiness. 
    It’s probably most likely a combination of all those things. Whatever the reason(s), the good cries have been in abundance. I wouldn’t have it any other way.