Moments of Musing

The Heart Knows

Filed Under: life //

From my drafts, written July 2014:

You had a nightmare. In it, you were not happy with your life. You wake up, knowing this has been weighing on you, knowing that something needs to change, and that you need to listen to your heart once and for all. You owe it to yourself, if no one else. You make the scary, heartbreaking (at the time) change and now you’re a really happy person and are confident in your place in life. You feel the love you’d dreamed of all your life.

You get the offer of a lifetime, except it’s in a different city. Halfway around the country, actually, in a different timezone. You don’t know but a couple people there. You get another offer close to home. WOW! How lucky… You really want the first job. Your heart is telling you it’s where you ought to start your career and that opportunity is knocking on your door. You cried so much thinking you wouldn’t get this opportunity and yet here you are crying because you are afraid to move. You know you have to follow your heart, so you do and you are so grateful you did.

You party like it’s 2008. Sloppy, drunken nights ensue whenever you go out with friends, which isn’t that often anymore. The issue is it’s not 2008 now. Now, you’re an adult. You have responsibilities. You live in a big city. You’re in a serious relationship. Alcohol feels like enemy whenever you indulge in it. Your heart has been telling you it’s time to move on. You haven’t listened because FOMO a.k.a. Fear Of Missing Out [on fun]. But life’s shown you that way just doesn’t fit in anymore. You don’t need anything but yourself, good music and/or company to have fun. Life’s more memorable this way, anyway, and your heart will be happier.

People sometimes say listening to your heart is a bad thing–that doing so causes irrational decision-making because it is fueled by emotion. I’m here to tell you quite the opposite. I wouldn’t do anything but listen to my heart because it has led me to 

where I am

who I am, and

 the life I live today. 

And I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

The art of “Adulting”

Filed Under: life, perspective, positivity //

Some days I’m on my A-game. I make myself breakfast, eat it while reading the news or blogs, shower, and make it out the door on time.

Other days, I eat a boiled egg in the shower and rush around afterwards like a chicken with its head cut off to make it out the door.

Some days I beam at my baby’s progress. Other days I cry hysterically because it makes me both happy and sad.

Some days I do all the dishes–other days, I leave all the dishes for my husband to do.

Sometimes I’m compassionate and other times not so much. 

On all of the days, I am trying my best to be my best and do my best.

Basically, there are times I have it together — like super mom/human together — and I “adult” really well. I open all my mail. I fold the laundry and put it away. I stay off my cell phone.

And then there are times I can’t find two matching socks for the life of me. I press the snooze button again and again (like I did this morning). I want to cry when I miss my train home after a long day away from my baby. I forget my office phone number (#mombrain is real). The laundry is in piles. And brushing my teeth before bed feels more like a chore than it feels refreshing.

It sometimes feels like those not-so-together days are more common… but isn’t that just being a human? What really is “adulting”? Our bills are paid on time (thanks, Autopay), We’re all healthy and our son is well taken care of. At the core of it all, isn’t THAT the most important?

So if “adulting” is trying/ seeming to have it all “together” while really just living and figuring out life, then sign me up. Besides, who really has it all together, all of the time, anyway?

New year, new-ish goals … new me? (2017)

Filed Under: goals, life, new year //

Linking up with Helene’s Best of 2016
New year, new me, right? Not exactly. I woke up on January 1st the same person I was on December 31st, just a more tired/ exhausted version. (Is it just me or do you also feel like the holidays are a bit draining?)
I will say I am a different person than I was a year ago. I have some new, and some of the same, goals. I have more responsibilities. I have more reason for living. And I love a whole lot more–so much I feel like my heart could burst at times.
I’m a mom now. This year, and from now on, my goals are centered around the tiny human being who is my baby:
Be more present. 
I want to put my phone down more. Watch less TV. Interact more. This has become way easier since Sebastian’s birth because he requires so much attention–and I honestly appreciate that it’s forced me to be more present. 
Be ambitious. 
I want to gain followers and page views. I want to continue to push myself and advance in my career. I want to get back into running and have a healthier diet. This year, I will continue pushing myself to be the best I can be.

Be patient. 
I have a feeling patience will be key for much of life. Patience with myself as a mom. Patience with my husband and my son. Patience with however fast or slow my progress is going. I will be kind to myself and give myself grace.
My goals from last year remain, as well:
Save more money. 
Looking back on 2016, I am happy, and feel blessed, to say it was indeed the best year ever, ever, ever. Our savings was a roller coaster because while we did hit a high, we spent more than ever before on our son. I am thankful we were able to save so much because it enabled us to finance all of our baby-related bills,  move into an apartment, and afford a couple weeks of unpaid maternity leave at the end of my 13-week leave. As always, I’d like to continue, or even amp up, our saving. 

Buy a home.
House hunting and the goal of buying a home took a backseat once my pregnancy progressed and we realized the NYC housing market was just too high for us then. We’re hoping this year will be the year we become home owners …but I am going to continue being kind to us if that’s not the case again. 

Let God. 
I have high hopes 2017 will be another great year for us, though. Once again, I will keep my faith and continue trusting that God has great plans for us. And of course, my not-so-secret “secret” goal remains: It‘s okay to let go and let life happen. 

After all, there’s only so much of life that we can plan for. 

Through the Years

Filed Under: life, new year, perspective //

This year brought the biggest and very best change: mommyhood.

As I’m preparing to enter the new year with new goals and a not-so-much-new but modified life plan, I’ve found myself reflecting on the past few years. During my reflection, I came back to my blog to read my old posts. It’s always nice to read about where I’ve been, where I’m at now, and where I’d like to be in the near future. 

While reading some of the posts, they still resonated with me. Even though life is a bit different now, I was still inspired and touched by them. Those life lessons and times have served as a guide for me at one point or another. 
Before I set life and blog goals for 2017, I figured it’d be the opportune time to share some of my all-time favorite posts with you. I’m starting with my very first post because it’s gotten me here, it’s representative of the reason I started the blog (long distance), and it shows how far I’ve come since then.


It’s pretty neat reading how much life has changed throughout the years, just as it is to see how much these succulents have grown since my baby shower.

I hope you enjoy this trip down memory lane as much as I do. As always, thank you for reading and supporting this ever-evolving writing space of mine. Cheers to much peace, love and growth–both personal and professional- in the new year! xoxo

2012

2013





2014





2015
2016 

What I want for Christmas

Filed Under: life, motherhood //

Merry Christmas Week!
I’ve never really celebrated this but I think this year is the perfect year to begin, with a baby and political tensions and all. Now, for me, Christmas is family time and love and sheer joy. It’s about getting family and friends together. Love and laughter. It’s hot cocoa with marshmallows and the smell of our pine tree. Sitting by the fireplace watching movies or listening to jingles. It’s excitement and sheer joy. 
You see, Christmas is about so much more than the presents under the tree. (This realization is one that took me growing up to truly realize.) So it should come of no surprise that I don’t really want much this year. After all, I have my health and my loved ones. What more could a gal want?? 

Well, there are some nonmaterialistic and more sentimental “presents” I’d like:
Coffee. All. The. Coffee. Parent life is tiring in itself. Put together with working full time and it’s exhausting. Though it remains my favorite role in the universe, I need lots of coffee to get through my days. I didn’t drink any during pregnancy but now that I’m back to normal intake, I get headaches on days I go without. Not good, I know. But it’s necessary and I try my best to limit how many cups I drink. 
Girlfriends in gold. For my friends’ wedding, us bridesmaids were in gold sparkly dresses. We all felt like princesses and our different but similar dresses looked great together. I think we should have dress up days with each other, or just girls nights every so often. Life gets hectic and spending time with one another has become more of a feat.
The experience of Christmas magic with my baby boy. I simply can not put into mere words how much joy having him with us this year brings. I can’t. Because it’s so, so much joy. To say I’m excited for waking up Christmas morning with him and watching him “open” and play his presents is an understatement. 
Football for the family. This blanket made by my husband’s friends’ mom is our family in one. The Mr. roots for Michigan and I, of course, my alma mater PSU. We’re excited for the bowl games and to have something that includes both of our teams so our little one doesn’t have to choose…any time soon, anyway.