Moments of Musing

Lucky No. 7: 7 Ways to Nurture your Marriage as Parents

Filed Under: Marriage //

This past weekend, my husband surprised me with a night away to celebrate our 7th year. (You can read more about us here.) I was excited and also had some of those butterfly nervous feelings because honestly, we’ve been parents first and foremost lately. I am not saying this is a bad thing, though I know there is great debate over whether a marriage or kids should come first.

We try to balance both, and I think we do it well, but lately balancing it has become more difficult. S has been sick and therefore, caring for him has taken a front seat for us. This past weekend gave us the opportunity to put ourselves first and focus on our marriage, if even just for a very limited time.

It felt great. To just be husband and wife. To be pampered (thanks, babe!). To just be together. I highly recommend parents get away and do this, too.

It’s no secret that parenthood changes and challenges a marriage. If you find yourself trying to balance your marriage and parenthood, here are some things I’ve found helpful:

1. Help one another. 
A marriage is never 50-50 but spouses can alternate who carries the “weight.” Don’t let your partner feel like (s)he is drowning in housework or parental duties alone.

2. Write love notes.
They can be on social media or hidden in your partner’s lunch. Don’t forget to remind your partner why you love them, what you love about them and give them praise where praise is due. It’s cute, can go a long way, and takes very little effort.

3. Take time to focus on yourselves.
This means both as individuals, as a couple, and as a family. Of course, you love your kids, but it’s important to practice good self care and to nurture your relationship. If your relationship is thriving, so too will your little family.

4. Practice empathy.
Try to understand where your partner is coming from. Communication is a big key to success in this area.

5. Communicate. 
Let each other know how you feel and why. Speak to–not at– one another, and be sure to actively listen to your partner. Empathy ties in here.

6. Be goofy. 
Just because adulthood and parenthood demand much responsibility doesn’t mean you have to be serious all the time. Laugh at missteps and mistakes together. It’s much more effective than yelling at one another over them.

7. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. 
Your love has likely evolved during parenthood–that’s normal. Trust that your foundation is strong (if not, work to make it strong) so that you can rely on it when you’re feeling frustrated.

Three Years of Marriage

Filed Under: anniversary, Marriage, wedding //

Three years of marriage

Two babies &

Still my 1 favorite love story. 

You’re my soul mate, team mate and my best friend. You make the good days great and the bad days better… There’s no one I’d rather walk beside life with. I love you to no end. Happy Anniversary to us!


Back from our First Ever Parents-Only Getaway

Filed Under: Marriage, parenthood //

If you follow me on Instagram, then you already know that my husband and I got back on Tuesday from a weekend getaway in California (L.A. area to be exact) to attend to the beautiful wedding of one of my sorority sisters.  The weekend was amazing and turned out to be one I didn’t know I needed.  


You see, before we got pregnant, my blog and social media used to be chock full of cheesy pics and posts about my husband. Since parenthood, our priorities have shifted a bit/lot but one priority remains: us. Though leaving our little one home was difficult (I might or might not have cried when we left him + on the plane…), this trip has been just what we needed to fall in love some more. After all, I don’t ever want to forget to prioritize one another and our marriage. If we thrive, so too will our little family we’ve created.


We spoke about our son –to one another and to others — often. But we also had our fair share of laughs and experiences, though I still cried in the airport on the day we were coming back home because I just missed our son so darn much… 

All in all, the weekend was full of fun times with my husband, sorority sisters and their husbands and fiancé … but we still rushed home to our babe from the airport last night because #parentlife. 🙂 

Marriage as parents

Filed Under: Marriage, parenthood //

In our 6 years (tomorrow) together, 
we’ve moved between cities/states/countries 6 times; 
we have a 6.5 month baby; 
we’ve been apart quite a bit, the longest separation being 6.5 months; 
and we’ve been married 26 months.

Despite all of our time together pre-baby (5.5 years), it’s sometimes hard to remember those days and that we should still prioritize our marriage–and dating. But we’re trying. Having a baby is a big change. While we knew it would affect our marriage, I don’t think we were prepared for how much it actually would. Because how can you really prepare for any big life changes, anyway? You can’t. 
You can be proactive and reactive, though. That’s just what we’ve tried our best to do. Before Sebastian was born, we went on dates, we traveled, we had cozy move nights-in, and we appreciated our alone time. After his birth, the first few weeks were a whirlwind of different parenting techniques, concerns, and emotions. It has not been until very recently that we have felt more confident in our marriage than before.
These days, we communicate with, help and trust one another more. We are the most open and honest we’ve ever been, and we are the strongest team mates we’ve ever been. That’s because we’ve chosen to nurture our marriage despite the new challenges that parenthood has presented us. (FYI the blessings way outnumber the challenges!) We’ve by no means mastered it but we’ve been through enough challenges for me to be confident that our marriage will continue thriving.