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Moments of Musing

A Different, More Meaningful Motherโ€™s Day (Mommy & Me Photos)

Filed Under: mother's day, motherhood // May 5, 2020

๐˜”๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข ๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜ค๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ต ๐˜ถ๐˜ฏ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜บ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ. Yes, I am hopeful we will be a better world because of this.

I am also scared. I am frustrated. I am anxious. I am nervous. I am stressed. Aside from S knowing there are “germs” keeping us home, the boys donโ€™t really realize whatโ€™s happening (thankfully). So, they sometimes tantrum and fight, as usual… adding to our stress about the current events, and causing me to wish under my breath that theyโ€™d give us a break during this time.โฃโฃโฃโฃ

โฃโฃโฃโฃโฃ

๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข ๐˜จ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฃ๐˜ข๐˜ญ ๐˜ค๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฃ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ. ๐˜ˆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ค๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ. ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ข๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ. The stress from their tantrums and fights is almost a welcomed stressโ€”it brings me back to ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฎ๐˜ข๐˜ญ. And everyday I realize, now more than ever, that what is most important is them, their health and their wellbeing. 

The outside world may be full of uncertainty but of this I am certain: ๐“๐‡๐„๐˜ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐.โฃโฃโฃโฃ

If theyโ€™re okay, Iโ€™m okay. โฃโฃโฃโฃ

๐˜ˆ๐˜ด ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บโ€™๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ฑ๐˜บ, ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ ๐˜. 

mommy and me, mama
mommy and me, mama
mommy and me, mama
mommy and me, mama
mommy and me, mama
mommy and me, mama

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From Lawyer to Working at Home – and Still Grateful for my Law Degree

Filed Under: career and motherhood, motherhood // March 2, 2020


I recently asked S what his favorite thing about me was.โฃ
โฃ
And then his least favorite.โฃ
โฃ
I expected him to say when I yell or when I donโ€™t let him watch YouTube.โฃ
โฃ
โ€œYou work,โ€ he said.โฃ
โฃ
๐˜ž๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฌ? I wondered. I asked him what about me working didnโ€™t he like since I work from home. โฃ
โฃ
I expected him to say I work all day or Iโ€™m on my phone too much. โฃ
โฃ
Instead, he said โ€œLast week you went to work [I go into my office once every other week], and I was sad. I missed you.โ€ โฃ
โฃ
This made me think: โฃ
1) Iโ€™m way harder on myself than my kids are on me, and โฃ
2) Sometimes itโ€™s weird looking back on all the time, energy, money (and school loans) I invested into becoming a lawyer, and yet I donโ€™t practice anymore. โฃ
โฃ
But in our one car conversation, my desire and decision to work from home in a non-lawyer role and in a different field (communications) were ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ-๐˜ข๐˜ง๐˜ง๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ. โฃ
โฃ
๐ˆโ€™๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ˆ ๐›๐ž๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ . โฃ
๐ˆโ€™๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž ๐ˆโ€™๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ž๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž. โฃ
๐ˆ๐ง ๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ โ€” ๐š๐ง๐ ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ž๐ž๐ซ. โฃ
๐€๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐›๐ฅ๐จ๐  ๐ก๐ž๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ž๐ ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐ ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ก๐ž๐ซ๐ž. โฃ
โฃ
Cheers to 3 years here as Moments of Musing! Thanks for your support.



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In Need of a Local Babysitter?

Filed Under: babysitting, motherhood // February 25, 2020

This post is sponsored by Bambino but all opinions are my own. 

The last time Tim and I went on a date was … when we traveled hundreds of miles away to Colorado.  

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Currently, our biggest issue is one I think many parents can relate to: we donโ€™t know many people locally and thus, donโ€™t know who to trust with babysitting our kids locally. 

Of course, we can have my mom come or bring them to Brooklyn to her but thatโ€™s not always reasonable. And it wouldnโ€™t be feasible for a last minute quick date to a local restaurant or show.  

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I think I might have just found a solution for the problem, though: Bambino Sitters. 

Bambino is a babysitting app that helps families find, book and pay trusted, neighborhood sitters using their personal and social networks.   

Rather than searching through a vast database of strangers, Bambino uses recommendations from friends and neighbors to help families find sitters that live down the street and around the corner. Using community feedback, comprehensive safety checks, sitter performance metrics, and a proprietary matching algorithm, Bambino helps match the right sitter with the right family every time.  

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Itโ€™s also great for people whoโ€™d love to make some extra money because itโ€™s a great support model for babysitters. 

The way Bambino works is simple: when you search, babysitters will be populated by the terms requested (i.e. hours); babysitters youโ€™ve previously used and friends have used will be displayed towards top; select a few that you like and a babysitter will get the request; and based upon responses of their availability the parent will then choose a babysitter. Once the sit is complete, pay the babysitter directly through the app!

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If youโ€™d like to join the over 200,000 registered users, sign up today + SAVE $10 off your first booking with code MOMENTS10. 

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The Journey of Motherhood: Returning to Work

Filed Under: journey of motherhood, motherhood // February 4, 2020

Motherhood is a journey. 

This guest post is written by Laura Otton, LCSW, who has a private practice based out of Huntington, NY, specializing in all things motherhood ranging from fertility issues and pregnancy loss, to pregnancy and the postpartum period. She is running The Journey of Motherhood, a series of workshops, at The Nesting Place in West Islip NY. The fourth and final workshop, Returning to Work, is the inspiration for this post and will be held this Saturday, February 8, 2020 from 1:30-3PM. You can learn more about Laura practice and workshops by visiting her website at therapyformotherhood.com

 This is Part 4 of a four-part series. 

Working mom, working mother, maternity leave, return to work, career mom, lawyer mom, back to work, Mat leave, parental leave, postpartum


What is motherhood if not a feeling of push-pull between your children and everything else? You want a break, yet when you get one you miss them so much it hurts. You want nothing more than to be a mama, yet sometimes you miss your old life. You miss work. You miss home. Is it possible to give 100% to your children and 100% to your job? Are you compromising on both ends and feel guilty? Anxious? Overwhelmed trying to do it all? Have it all? 
Maybe you skipped away from daycare or your house feeling free from the burden of caring for your little one, only 30 minutes later have the homesick feeling of missing your baby hit you. Or perhaps it took you 20 minutes to say goodbye; you went over instructions, schedules, and precautions ten times, anxiously wringing your hands and imagining every scenario of doomโ€ฆand then going to work wasnโ€™t so bad.
Work also comes withโ€ฆwell, work. Bottles, packing, cleaning, pumping, formula-buying, outfit arranging, dropping off, picking up, researching the best daycares, navigating the sticky situations of in-law and parental involvement. Long commute? Baby has a cold? Traveling for work? Intrusive co-workers? Unsympathetic bosses? Awkward privacy for pumping and storing? These only add to the burden. This feels hard because it is hard.
Some of us have to go back to work. Some of us want to go back to work. Some work full-time. Others start working from home or cut back on their hours. Some walk away completely. There are endless variations, but absolutely none are free fromโ€ฆwait for itโ€ฆmom guilt. Ugh. Guilt hangs heavy on our shoulders. We often feel it in waves, ebbing and flowing, small, then large. 
Work gives us more than a paycheck. Using your education and experience to be productive at work feels good. We receive validation and praise for a job well done. We usually know what “well done” looks like. You have tasks at a job. You check things off. You accomplish and move forward. What does this notsound like? Caring for a baby, which often feels endless and thankless, uncertain, and frustrating. 
Also, socializing! Chatting with co-workers, talking about something besides your babyโ€™s lack of sleep and bodily functionsโ€”hereโ€™s a lot of good about work. Thereโ€™s also a lot of good about being home. Parenthood isnโ€™t easy no matter what the work situation looks like for your family. Thereโ€™s no solution involving work or not working that makes parenthood easy, but there are combinations that look best for you and for your family. I emphasize this because we compare ourselves to others. We get defensive and sensitive because we can doubt and overanalyze our choices. We seek validation that weโ€™re doing the right thing. But it has to be right for you. If your family has the luxury of being able to choose work or home for you or your partner, then youโ€™re left with decisions to make. And itโ€™s important to make them carefully but with confidence. 
I work with my clients on acknowledging and validating that the push/pull of baby/work is real, normal, and okay. Itโ€™s called ambivalence, and we all have it. It also is going to look different on different days. One day you may be skipping off to work, and the next youโ€™re holding back tears at your desk (or maybe this describes the same day!). But in therapy we work on mindfulnessโ€”that buzz word so popular these days. Basically, when youโ€™re at work, you are focused on work, mind and body. And when you leave work, you leave work, mind and body. You appreciate work. You appreciate being home. You care for yourself on those really tough days we all have. But understand that most days arenโ€™t going to be those super tough days. Most days are okay. Feel proud of your work. Enjoy the benefits of it. And when youโ€™re home, cherish it. Enjoy the benefits of it. Feel proud of it. And remember, this is what has to work for you and your family. Comparing your plans to othersโ€™ will only bring doubt or hollow pride (youโ€™re doing it right, theyโ€™re doing it wrong). Therapy focuses on building your confidence so you arenโ€™t looking to others for validation or letting doubt creep in. Another important component to strengthen is your boundary-setting with supervisors and co-workers, and advocacy so your new needs as a parent are being metโ€”perhaps this is a clean and private area to pump, or itโ€™s having meetings scheduled during the day so you can leave on time. We work on your relationship with your partner so youโ€™re on more equal footing and can provide the other with needed support. We weigh pros and cons of career changesโ€”whether thatโ€™s leaning in to a promotion or taking a step back to part-time, working from home, or taking a break all together.
There is no plan without imperfections and downsides. You are doing the best you can with what you have. In all my experience, Iโ€™ve never seen the same plan work for different families. Itโ€™s unique for you. What does this look like for you and for your family? How do you feel about it? How does your partner feel about it? Is it working for your family? Is it working for you? I urge you to carve out a quiet moment with your partner to discuss this in order to get to the root of your feelings, figure out what aspects you have control over and where you can make decisions, and then make plans or changes. Letโ€™s see how work can work for you.

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When Flu Season Hits Home

Filed Under: motherhood // February 4, 2020

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This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of FeverAll. All opinions are 100% mine.

Being a mom means putting your kids needs first many times. That especially goes when they are sick. A few weeks ago we were all under the weather but it was the kids I was primarily concerned about, due to their fevers.

It seems every January, our year starts with a cold virus or bug, which kind of sucks. The silver lining is it forces us to slow down after the holidays and itโ€™s just a cold virus, no biggie.
What weโ€™ve never had together before is the flu. This time, both boys had elevated fevers. To be honest, the fevers were the scariest part. Fevers affect body temperature, breathing, and can lead to seizures. That worries me the most.

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Sometimes, when kids are sick they can not take oral medications due to vomiting or issues with swallowing. FeverAllยฎ Infantsโ€™ Strength is the perfect option of medicine when that’s the case. It is the only acetaminophen labeled for infants as young as 6 months of age.

With FeverAllยฎ Infantsโ€™ Strength Suppositories on hand, caregivers can be ready to temporarily relieve their infantโ€™s fever and pain at any time, especially when they are refusing oral medication, having swallowing issues or can’t keep down oral medication due to vomiting.

When oral medication is not an option, turn to FeverAllยฎ acetaminophen suppositories for temporary pain relief and fever reduction. Mom-and-child-friendly FeverAllยฎ suppositories are available in 3 strengths so you can provide just the right strength and dosing of temporary fever/pain relief as your child grows older.

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