Moments of Musing

A Personal Pause

Filed Under: motherhood, unplug, Unplugging //

Dad, sons, dad and sons, family time, great pause, unplug, nature, hiking, family hike, poconos

We are off the to the mountains. I see this as an opportunity to reset. It will be my time to unplug, be present, and enjoy the moments.

You know those moments? The candid, real, raw, unstaged, unphotographed moments? I feel like I’ve missed out on some lately as I find myself overwhelmed by all that’s going on. There is just so much. It seems like there’s information overload, and not all of it is even true. There is debating, there is selfishness, there is racism …  and so many people are losing their loved ones during this time. Its sad. It’s frustrating. It’s a lot.

As a nonprofit employee , self-care isn’t as simple as just turning off the news or not going on social media, especially when your organization’s work is related to all that’s going on and social media is part of my job. Therefore, it seems the only way to truly make myself tune out was to take time off. I need it. My husband needs it. My kids need it. They have been such troopers during this time.

So during this Great Pause I have decided that I too am taking a bit of a personal pause and will be on social media, especially Instagram, a lot less. I will post to stories more because they’re in-the-moment and don’t require editing or writing deep captions, which take longer than you probably think.

I just want to enjoy all the moments I can with my loves.

Mom, mom life, working mom, motherhood, musings, present, family time, great pause, unplug, nature, hiking, family hike, poconos

‘Tis the Season… to be Present

Filed Under: motherhood, tis the season, unplug, Unplugging //

“Put down your phone. Pick up the kids more,” I told myself on Friday. 

Mom and baby, mommy, baby, Christmas lights, Christmastime, tis the season, unplug, New York christmas


Because ‘tis the season…
To be present …
To give joy …
To feel love …
To keep things in perspective.

On that note, I have decided to disconnect every weekend of the holiday season in order to savor every magical moment with my loves. (If you join me tag #UnpluggedMOM on Instagram in posts every Monday discussing what difference it made/ what you learned by unplugging!)


Personally, I originally planned to unplug from Christmas until the New Year (and still want to). On Friday, however, though I had off from my full-time job, I worked on a video project all day long. I’m talking 10AM until 5PM. I went to sleep feeling guilty. 

I felt like I’d taken too much time away from the boys. I worry they have been seeing me on my phone too much. So while I was falling asleep Friday night, I decided I’d unplug from Instagram (since it’s what takes up most of my cell use) all weekend long. Then, I woke up and decided I want to do it every weekend because it’s such a special time of year. (My big hope is I will do it most weekends of the year!)

Unplugging from social media is difficult, though, especially when it’s a form of employment. But I knew I wanted to do it. Here’s how I unplugged:
1) I decided to unplug. 
2) I publicly announced I would. I did this both to let others know and as a way of holding myself accountable. 
3) I moved my Instagram app to the last page of my home screen so I wouldn’t be as enticed. (I didn’t delete it because I didn’t want to lose my saved drafts as I have in the past.) 

Briefly, here’s what I learned:
1) Social media takes away too much of my attention from my boys, and they do not deserve that. 
2) Without it, I am able to get much more (SO much more) done. 
3) If we all were not as attached to social media as we are, there wouldn’t be such pressure to be on social media (or FOMO when not on social media) and thus, there would not be such a need to unplug. 
4) There can be a balance. I don’t have to check my Instagram DMs 10 times a day or mindlessly scroll my feed even more than that and still, I can still get work done. 
5) The more intentional I am about my social media use, the less of my time it will take and the more I will get out of it. And the less guilty I will feel. 
So, will you join me in unplugging to reconnect this holiday season? Let me know if you do!

How I Unplugged

Filed Under: life, Unplugged Puerto Rico, Unplugging //

As some of you might remember, I decided that I would (mostly) unplug while on my recent vacation. I say mostly because the reality is I still used my phone, posted, wrote, and visited social media. The bad news is I probably need to be somewhere without service and WiFi to completely unplug. The good news is I think did a pretty good job at staying off my phone as much as possible.

This is how I was able to do it:
I promised myself.
The plan to unplug came to me a few days before we left. I really wanted to stick with it and I knew if I wrote a blog post about it, I’d hold myself accountable. So that’s what I did. (This is the blog post I wrote.) Once it was out there, I knew there was no taking it back.

I detached from my phone.
I simply left my phone in the hotel room sometimes. Other times, I kept it in the stroller pocket or in a bag away from me. Honestly, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be to detach from the phone. I guess really enjoying life made it easy. I didn’t have a desire to figure out how to edit a photo or write a caption when there was so much beauty and love around me.

I optimized my baby’s nap time.
On the second day, I made the decision to try my best to wait until my baby fell asleep to get on my phone and that’s what I did. While he slept, or was preoccupied playing with others, I took photos, edited them, checked social media and emails, and wrote.
I was intentional about social media use.
Whenever I was on social media, I didn’t really just aimlessly browse. I visited blogs and pages I am interested in, commented on photos I particularly liked, and posted things I had prepared and planned for previously.

I reminded myself to be present.
What good would it be flying hundreds of miles away with my family to spend our time on my phone constantly? Whenever I felt the urge to go on social media, I reminded myself that being present was important. Not only for myself but for my family, especially my son. I didn’t want him to have memories of me looking down at a device while we vacation. I wanted him to have memories with me. In the pool. At the beach. Loving and laughing. Looking up at the stars and group-hugging his dad. I wanted to have memories together and that requires living in the moment, together.
I really am so glad I did this. I wholeheartedly recommend you doing it next time you’re away, as well!

    Unplugging

    Filed Under: life, Unplugged Puerto Rico, Unplugging //

    This past weekend we went to Michigan to visit my husband’s family. It was such a nice visit and honestly, I’m always sad when we part ways. They love me like I’m one of them and seeing how much they love my husband and our son makes me really appreciate them more. Family is so important to us so it’s hard to live away from them. Fortunately, we live near my family so we get family time in between visits with my husband’s side. 

    Being present during family time is important, too. I tried my best not to be on my phone as much (though I couldn’t hold back as much on the last day during the NASCAR race we were watching lol) and there were many times I didn’t even know where it was because I hadn’t really been using it.

    It seems like these days, more and more people are becoming overly attached to their phones, social media and what’s going on in other people’s lives. Who’s wearing what, who’s following you, what happened last night, etc.  

    I’m sometimes one of them. I find myself spending too much time browsing social media, editing a photo or thinking of a witty caption … or falling down the rabbit hole looking at the profile of a friend of a friend of a friend. Then, I look up and see Sebastian staring at me, probably wondering what’s so good about it all because it takes my attention away from him. And I immediately feel guilty. 


    This is why partway through Lent, I promised to be on my phone less, especially around Sebastian, and present more. This means lately, when I get on my phone I have a lot of texts (see: 102 from my girlfriends… we like to chat just a little…) and maybe some calls. But it also means I’m living in the moment more, which to me means experiencing life more fully. The more present I am, the more enjoyable moments are, and the less desire I to be on my phone and miss out.

    As our island vacation approaches, I’m continuing with this process of unplugging (for the most part). I am going to try to unplug fully by not posting while we’re out and about, and maybe even for the whole vacation. It seems a bit ambitious and a little voice is telling me, “Baby steps, take baby steps” but I’m going to attempt it and I’m not going to worry about how many people unfollow me because I don’t post, or what I’m missing out on in the social media world. 

    Because that’s what it is–a whole other not-as-genuine world. Life through little squares is so carefully curated–the good stuff is the messy, raw, behind-the-scenes experiences that make up real life. I want to cherish and relish in those. I want to be fully present for those.