Whether it’s returning to the office after maternity leave or after working from home, or starting school for the first time, change can be challenging for kids. Separation from parents can exacerbate kids’ fears and sadness about a change in routine. It can also be challenging to navigate for parents, too. It can help both parents and children to prepare children when returning to the office.
Recently, I had the chance to interview my former law school colleague and friend, children’s author Christy Limbach. Christy wrote the children’s book, Asher the Dino: Mommy Goes to Work, after her son experienced separation anxiety when she returned to her office following working from home during the pandemic.
A mom of three, she hopes that Asher’s story can help other parents and their little ones during these stressful times. Asher the Dino is available on Amazon as a free e-book download, and for purchase in paperback and hardcover. Christy shares her experience and ways to prepare children when returning to the office:
MOM: Was it challenging to return to the office after working from home?
Christy: It was both challenging and energizing. I was working from home for a little over a year before I returned to work. During that time I also had our third child (I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after the world shut down!)- so there was a lot going on! Having a life outside the home was invigorating in a lot of ways – I enjoyed going back to my favorite lunch spots near my office and hanging out again with my favorite coworkers. But it was also challenging. The mental load of meals, laundry, and activity-planning is significantly harder when you’re not at home. Add a commute into the mix, and you have to master your time-management skills.
MOM: Would you say it was more difficult for you or the kids?
Christy: It was more difficult for the kids, which I did not expect! I was excited when things started opening back up again, but it was a big transition for my kids. These pandemic kiddos have been through so much, and sometimes we forget how scary transitions can be for them. My three-year-old had a particularly tough time with the transition. After all, as far as he could remember, I was always home. Mommy going to work was a big change!
MOM: How did you prepare the kids and deal with their emotions?
Christy: I find that role-playing with stuffed animals and reading picture books is the best way to prepare my kids and help them process new concepts. It was when I was looking for a picture book on the topic of separation anxiety and Mom working, that I couldn’t find a thoughtful and engaging book to help my son. That’s when I started telling him the story that would become my book, Asher the Dino: Mommy Goes to Work.
MOM: How did this experience compare to returning to the office after maternity leave?
Christy: I think it was tougher than the return to office after maternity leave because it happened around the same time that my son was starting pre-school. I think any time that a young child is starting pre-school, or has a parent that is leaving the home for work, there will be separation anxiety issues to work through.
MOM: What is the biggest piece of advice you have for another mom returning to the office after spending a long period at home with kids?
Christy: Preparation is your friend! Prepare your child for the transition by reading picture books and by role-playing what will happen with stuffed animals or dolls. And then prepare ahead for yourself. Take care of all the logistics you can ahead of time to decrease the mental load — meal plan on weekends, pack lunches and lay out clothes at night, etc. It’s a struggle getting back into the grind, so do whatever you can in advance. And finally, give yourself some grace. Even if there are piles of laundry and dinner is pizza (again), your kids will see a strong role model who loves and provides for them.
