GASP! Yes, it is okay to not be perfect. To fall down sometimes. These are teaching moments. After all, they allow us to grow.
Last week I received the dreaded news that I did not pass the New York bar exam. It was the first monumental exam/ task I’ve ever not passed. And yet, I didn’t cry once, which is huge for me. My boss is awesome and my job wasn’t contingent on the result. My family and friends are great– some didn’t even believe me when I told them. And it’s not the end of the world.
I also had a feeling I did not pass, which helped prepare me for the news. Not the self-deprecating feeling I’d had two years ago when I actually did pass the Illinois bar exam. This feeling was different and the night before the results were released I actually dreamt that I failed.
I knew I had a lot on my plate at the time–a job search, job offer, last weeks in a city we loved, and a cross country move two weeks prior to the exam… I remember breaking down and crying amidst all the boxes in our apartment and just feeling like I hadn’t prepared enough–because I hadn’t. (I’d actually overprepared for one section and underprepared for another.)
My first feelings when I got the results were disappointment, confusion, and a refusal to study and sit for another bar exam.
While I haven’t 100% made my decision, the confident self-competitor in me feels like I have something to prove to myself. I can’t just let my bar exam record end with a DID NOT PASS. I am not a failure–not that this one exam would ever make me that.
And so I think you know which way I’m leaning.
I love your outlook! You will get em next time!
Your outlook is so, so good. Sending happy, SUCCESSFUL vibes your way 🙂