Letting Myself Feel

I wrote this piece with tears in my eyes as I stood on the subway platform. It was the morning of, unbeknownst to me, my younger cousin Abby’s passing. I did not know she would get called home later that night. I wrote this, which is unlike anything I’ve written before, in the midst of feeling an overwhelming sadness about news of her deteriorating health. Oh how I wish I could have shared more of what I thought of and felt about her with her… Hindsight definitely is 20/20.

Letting Myself Feel

Here I stand
Here I am
Questioning
Wondering
Pondering

How?
Why?
What if?

Trying to make sense
Trying to channel happiness
Trying to suppress
Because I don’t want to feel the sadness

But I let myself
I must let myself

Cry
Smile
Laugh
Feel

It’s the only way to deal
To be honest and real

If you’d like, please visit Abby’s Promise to learn about how we are giving back in Abby’s name and how you could help. Miss you Abby. <3